25 Things My Roommate will do to avoid doing homework/studying/writing a paper

  1. Yells, “JENNNNNNN I DONT WANNA DO IT”
  2. Walks into my room and stares at me as if I have the answers to life
  3. Decides to bored-eat and walks into our pantry
  4. Stares into the pantry and asks me what to eat
  5. Declares that there is nothing to eat even though our pantry AND fridge AND cabinets do indeed have food in them
  6. Opens up her planner and starts to plan her life
  7. After putting all her work for the week in, proceeds to meal plan for the next week
  8. Does not know what to make for dinner, so goes on the computer to look up recipes online
  9. Decides to go to Whole Foods to buy all the ingredients to cook all the recipes for next week
  10. After 5 minutes, decides that’s not necessary right at this moment and instead flops into bed with her phone
  11. Opens up Facebook and scrolls through her newsfeed which hasn’t changed since the last time she checked
  12. Checks out her Instagram feed and proceeds to tag me in at least 1 picture of a cute dog and 1 picture of food
  13. Goes on to Snapchat and clicks through everyone’s stories and the Discover stories, even the Food Network, Tastemade and CNN stories when times get desperate
  14. Proceeds to send a snap using every filter and sticker at least once
  15. Jumps out of bed and goes back into the kitchen to look for food again
  16. Finds her carton of Swiss Vanilla Almond ice cream and sits at her desk and finds something on Netflix even though she proclaims “I’m not even hungry” and “I don’t wanna watch TV”
  17. After a little bit, decides to move on from Netflix and starts looking at apartments to live in after graduation (this takes up an abnormal amount of time in her life)
  18. Gets up to put the ice cream away because “it’s not what I want” and starts looking for other snacks.
  19. Gives up in 2 minutes and goes back to laying in bed
  20. Gets back up and decides she must do her nails for work and begins the hour long process of taking nail polish off and putting it back on.
  21. After a nail gets smudged after the first 5 minutes of having it on, comes back into my room to show me
  22. Sits (or sometimes lies) on my floor and says, “Jenn I can’t do it. I can’t do anything right now.”
  23. Starts to tell me a story about something that happened in her life (I’ve probably already heard this story)
  24. I tell her that she’s already told me this story and she sighs in exasperation. “I’m just gonna go to bed. I’ll do everything tomorrow. Tomorrow’s gonna suck.”
  25. Goes to bed. And repeat.
Advertisements

5 Comments Add yours

  1. John Stevenson says:

    Hahaha this is hilarious. Good Writing!

    Like

  2. Kunj Bhatt says:

    This is so perfect!

    Like

  3. Terrence says:

    Lol sounds exactly like my roommate

    Like

  4. Melanie says:

    This is so #relatable! Lol I totally feel this way sometimes. #collegestudent probs am I right???. seriously tho this is spot on 🙂

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s